Who Will Be Last?

Mountain biking has given me much over the last decade. The freedom of two wheels rolling effortlessly down a dirt ribbon in the woods. Visits to breath taking destinations only a lucky few get to experience. Exhaustion or encouragement or a belly laugh when I need it and friends I never would have met except for biking. Biking is more than a distraction for me, it is a meaningful part of my life. And every now and then it all comes together in a hum-dinger of a memory like it did on Sunday.

It started with an afternoon milk-run tour of the west side, our train of 19 riders careening down the old Struble and then singletracking up to the quarry and eventually to the ruins for some hydration and a spontaneous round of "fatty smashing." The crowd was getting rowdy after a kinger and a double-stack round, but they went off their rockers when RI pulled off the never-before-attempted-in-competition rear wheel fatty smash. The crowd was howling but temperatures were dropping and we were out of beer so we decided to work our way back to camp and the food and the main event.

The food. Where to start? How about pulled pork with smoked jalapenos, braised short ribs and goat (would be cooked in a cast iron dutch oven in the bonfire), Italian sausage and peppers, and venison tenderloin reindeer chili. Fried chicken, Christmas cookies, and Dunkin donuts. Two tables, under the stars, piled high with food and no vegetables in sight. Mountain biker heaven.

With half a chord of wood and 7 wooden pallets to burn, the fire would be impressive as well and the pallets would present an interesting opportunity to host our first and probably not the last annual [mothers continue reading at your own peril] fire ride. Pallets expertly arranged over the fire - up, over, and down. We knew it would ride but the question that had not yet been answered was..."who would be the LAST to ride the fire?" Would the last ride be a case of good judgement or something else less good? There was only one way to find out so we lit it up and commenced to encourage (wasn't hard) a few brave souls to surrender to the fire ride. And ride it they did and I am happy to say the last person to ride the fire survived with nothing more than a couple singed eyebrows and can now bathe in the glory of that ride for many years to come (and can thankfully check "fire riding" off on the bucket list).

A Real Wangtangler
(a.k.a a valuable lesson?)

As if that were not enough, the fire ride would still teach us a valuable lesson about the butterfly effect - in this particular case a bent derailleur hanger that nearly sent MR to the Brandywine burn unit. Earlier in the week an attempt to realign a hanger on MR's fat bike highlighted a drive train issue that required a chain ring change which resulted in a broken crank bolt which meant that MR would be riding a bike with 2.2" tires this evening instead of his fatbike. So what? Fast forward to the bonfire. The first fire riding pallet was nearly burned through so another pallet was unceremoniously thrown on top. This not only fanned the flames of the riders and audience, but it also left an awkward step up from the entrance ramp onto the (now burning) pallet so again demonstrating good judgement we turned the entrance ramp lengthwise to improve the entrance angle and solve the step problem. However this created a new problem with the 2" gap between boards running lengthwise (in the direction of travel). So instead of guiding the front tire onto the platform it could conceivably grab the front wheel and propel and rider over the handlebars onto the burning pallet. Our rightful conclusion was that from that point forward only fat bikes with 4" or wider tires should be riding the fire. Now if you've been paying attention you know that MR who is accustomed to riding a fat bike was now riding a bike with 2.2" tires. Yes it was a close one (a.k.a. "A Wangtanger") and we may have learned a valuable lesson but only time will tell. [mothers may safely continue reading] 

Proud parents

The tradition of beer presentations heated up with the fire with over a half dozen entries. The creativity, the craftsmanship, and the passion for such an ephemeral moment was inspiring. The energy in the crowd as each artist sacrificed their personal creation. The blaze of glory as each creation was turned into pure heat and light. One catharsis after another, experienced as one by creator and the crowd:

• BP's rocket - 8 feet tall, all cardboard and plywood, and capped off with some sort of firework. It was the first to burn and for a few seconds the flames were probably licking 30' high. It was so intense we couldn't even tell if the fireworks went off. 
• KP and GP's baby - The defining presentation started with "we have an announcement to make." I turned to see KP tenderly lifting an infant from a baby carriage and cradling it. Juxtaposed with the raging campfire and the near carnage that had preceded (the fire riding), the image was beyond disturbing. Of course it was not a real baby (it was a large beer bottle with hot-glued baby legs and head) but the whole scene looked real enough to raise the hair on the back of my neck. Then a frenzied GP raced that baby stroller up the exit ramp, full tilt. The carriage flew into the air and followed the most wonderfully graceful arc, landing in the fire a little off kilter and was immediately engulfed in flames. Seconds later it was completely gone. No trace. It could have been a dream, as if the carriage had never existed. Epic.
• But the twisted takes on "best beer presentation" just kept on coming. For example JK's colorful shewee beer mug and SB's meat baby (long story there). There was MR's Christmas wine and beer rack and the JP's Mr and Mrs Claus throw-pillow-six-pack-protectors (Mrs Claus survived but, well, Santa not so much). 
• We had great fun spinning the Beer Exchange Roulette wheel and I was flattered when some in the crowd began chanting "save the wheel" (there were suggestions of keeping it for '16 or hanging it at The Tree). I let the flattery go to my head for a few moments as I entertained the thought of spinning that wheel at The Tree but thankfully the right side of my brain kicked in and I rightfully consigned the wheel to the fire to be consumed like the many worthy presentations that came before it. It was glorious.

It's was pretty clear that the "best beer presentation" had transcended the concept of winning. This was performance art at it's best and the mantra "must burn to win" was shortened to it's cathartic essence "must burn" and everybody won.

This was an evening for the scrapbook and I just want to thank so many people for bringing their A-game to this ridiculous event.

Chris

"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever." 
     -- David St. Hubbins (This is Spinal Tap)

"I Have a Plan"

On Friday I got this enigmatic text from my daughter: "Wat time r u going to b home? I have a plan."

I have a plan...

...I figured what possibly could be better than starting the weekend than with a 15 year old that has a plan? And I was right. Her plan was to produce a music video and she told me that she would need the following:

1. Three video cameras and a couple of tripods
2. Direct access to some of my biking buddies
3. A few hours with me in my biking clothes
4. My unwavering trust and commitment to her vision

It was fascinating being a bit player in this mysterious master plan - watching her interview my friends, direct me to "bike up that hill", and setup and take down cameras and tripods. She even convinced my wife to drive the car around the neighborhood car while she took time lapse pictures from the passenger seat.

Sunday afternoon she hunkered down in front of her computer - clicking like mad and occasionally laughing out loud. That evening she proudly shared her rough cut edit with me, and what had been a whirlwind of seemingly disjoint activities suddenly came into sharp focus. It's really quite remarkable when you throw yourself at the mercy of your kid and they reward you with something so creative.

Chris

"It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how."
     --Dr. Seuss

A Fast Donkey

Good news, this morning I did the Full Bonus Loop in 61 minutes.  That's door to door from Lower Lyndenwood.  For me that's a record.  Bad news I may have broken Rob's USE seatpost.  I hope I'm wrong.  Will look at it tonight.

This next part is going to be too much information.  TMI.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  I got a little banged up on last Sunday's ride.  So when I rode on Tuesday I layered up with a jock strap, under armor briefs, spandex shorts with ample chamois, heavy biking shorts, and a couple of prophylactic Advil.  That made it bearable.  For this morning's record breaking ride I skipped the Advil and the jock strap. I guess I'm on the mend...

Finally, here's one more D2M music video. It is of day five when we rode most of the Whole Enchilada near Moab. I stowed the camera during a little spritzer that day so missed the LPS section, but got plenty of Hazard County Trails, UPS, and Porcupine Rim. And thanks to G.Love (Philly born and bred) for the sound track.  Enjoy.

Chris

"You're a donkey, not a thoroughbred horse.  You may become a fast donkey, but you will never become a thoroughbred"

     -- unknown

It's in the can

The first video is "in the can" as they say. I guess I should thank The Edge for his contribution, but frankly the seven other guys who were pushing the pedals up to 11,425 feet deserve most of the credit. Here's to you guys!

HD Glory

The birthday cam came out today. 

The birthday cam is a Contour GPS high definition helmet mounted web cam that my biking buddies bought for me for my 50th birthday. You see I am a mountain biker and a geek and they knew it would be the perfect gift...and they were right.

So today when seven of us headed to White Clay for a nice spring ride, I strapped on the helmet cam to document the fun. These guys have no idea how much I appreciate their thoughtfulness. Seriously.

But they also have no idea how much they (should) appreciate my thoughtfulness for skillfully editing the video before posting it to YouTube. Because you see I forgot I had the camera on. And I went into the woods to, well, relieve myself. And the camera caught everything - and I mean everything - in it's high definition glory.

You won't see that part in this video.

But you will see seven grown men having a hell of a time riding bikes in the dirt.

I am so lucky in so many ways.

Thanks guys.

The Last Day (France Trip Series)

Thursday. Last full day on the bikes. The group is getting stronger every day, and each day a completely unique adventure. I am soooo not ready for this to end.

Today we bike 25 miles from Chinon to Saumur. We cross the Vienne river and now the Velo is a mostly a dedicated bike trail (paved) meandering through the vineyards west of Chinon. There are chambres d’hotes all along the Velo here. They are similar to B&B’s in the US but some are actually small chateaus and they all cater specifically to cyclists.

It is lunchtime when we've reached the Loire at the small town of Candes-Saint-Martin. We find a picnic table next to the river, and I shoot into town to procure some local wine. This town is spectacular. Medieval of course with the narrow crooked cobblestone streets, oh so cool shops and cafes, and a pretty respectable byzantine-style cathedral in the middle of town. I find a cave stocked with local wine, there are three locals enjoying a bottle of wine in the corner. One is the very friendly proprietor who turns me on to a bottle local red wine (after giving me a taste of course), and I head back for lunch.

We enjoy a leisurely lunch of baguette sandwiches, cheese, fresh fruit, wine, and chocolate. Eventually – moving more slowly now – we mount up and ride into town to explore.

Later that afternoon as we approach Saumur we begin to see more troglodytes – homes, artisan studios, small shops – along the road. Under protest (mine) I ditch the group so I can explore on foot. They seem overly interested in getting to Saumur. I tell them I would catch up. I will do better than that...

After exploring for 10 minutes or so, I mount up and start hammering to catch the group and pretty soon realize that I have somehow lost them. How is this possible? Well in my haste I had diverted off the Velo…but it seems that every road in France leads to some sort of adventure and this is no exception. I have stumbled upon nothing less than the zero meridian marker! After snapping some pictures, I resume hammering west not quite sure how this leg is going to end.

Eventually everyone in our group stumbles upon the same swimming hole on the banks of the Loire. We are like Labrador Retrievers. Unable to resist the siren call of the water, we each slip into the lazy river to cool off and eventually the entire group is back together. I am pretty excited about my zero-meridian encounter, but the girls quickly explain that in my haste I have detoured around one of the most amazing sections of Velo so far… a kilometer or so of trail that winds in and out of the caves of a troglodyte village. Ruth says I must backtrack and see it for myself, so I head back east while the gang lounges in the river.

Oh my God this is off the charts amazing. It is a terribly narrow and hilly cobblestone street that winds along a hillside, into and out of these troglodyte tunnels and homes. One minute you are riding in brilliant sunshine and the next minute you are in a pitch black tunnel where the temperature has dropped 40 degrees…and then you are riding through a large open space, still about 20’ below the surface, where the roof has collapsed allowing the sunshine to spill in. Then you’re back outside before you dive into another tunnel.

The road (a path really) undulates, some of the pitches are steep, one is labeled 18 degree grade! Interspersed throughout are spectacular homes, many of them carved into the hillside when these tunnels were built in the middle ages.

I think it is another 5 miles to Saumur (yes another spectacular castle and unbelievable food). Tomorrow we will leave the bikes and return to Paris. But we are not done with the bikes.

Friday morning Jeff and I leave the girls in Saumur (big time shopping) and ride back to the troglodytes and the vineyards to the east. We leave Oma and Opa there, and explore the troglodyte village one more time (even giving directions to a french cycling couple who appear to be lost).

I will have one more cycling experience that day, but it will not involve a bike. Later that day we catch a TGV back to Paris. The TGV of course is a bullet train that rips hurtles down the rails at about 185 mph. I distinctly remember being scared as the train accelerated out of Tours (transfer station). I had spent the last week travelling at 12 mph across France and had not been in a motor vehicle since the start of our bike leg. This silly-stupid speed was simply not computing in my head, and I felt like a chimpanzee being needlessly shot into orbit on top of a high-power rocket.

I will conclude the France Trip Series with a final post where, among other things, I will congratulate my wife and daughter on an incredible accomplishment and thank them for rolling the dice with me on this most excellent adventure.

Making It Work (France Trip series)

Just back from two week vacation in France celebrating Mom and Dad's 50th anniversary. I've got weeks worth of blog posts in my head, so I'm going to just start pounding them out in no particular order. Be advised that some posts may include roadie or non-biking content. Hang in there.



Scooters and motorcycles probably out number the cars in Paris. Add in the bicyles and the cars are definitely a minority. At least half of the scooters are driven by women, many in skirts and high heels. I don’t know how they do it, but they all look soooo cool while doing it. Stylish clothing, weaving through traffic, over sidewalks, between cars, and down one-way streets (the wrong way). The scooters and sometimes the small cars (there are virtually NO big ones) are driving down narrow city streets crowded with pedestrians. It’s just like a Borne Ultimatum movie. Really, that is how it is. In the US this would be a hands-down-goat-rodeo with women and children screaming and jumping out of the way in a panic. But here everyone - pedestrians, cyclists, drivers - work together to make it possible. No unpredictable moves, give people just enough space, don’t be a jerk.

And the cyclists are right there in the mix with the motorcycles, scooters, and cars. At the head of the left turn lane waiting for a green light and diving into / out of traffic circles. .And the beautiful thing is that ALL of the other drivers respect the cyclists. Totally. Basically they view you as an equal on the road.. Once you get accustomed to this, you can really tear it up in terms of getting around town efficiently by bike.

It gets better. In Paris they have this service called the “Velib.” For a nominal fee (in our case it was about 10 euros for the week) you get unlimited use of about 20,000 bikes in 30 minute chunks. You access them using any of about 2,000 automated vending stations scattered throughout the city (we consistently found them every couple of blocks). You simply punch in your account number, pick a bike, and off you go. When you have arrived at your destination you just check it into the closest Velib and go about your business. So basically you always have a bike handy wherever you go, but you are never burdened with locking it or remembering where you left it (easy to get disoriented in a medieval city like Paris).

Jeff and I were all over this Velib thing. Once we purchased our one week passes at a local Velib station, we struck out for nowhere in particular, wound up somewhere in the 9th or 10th arrondissement. We dropped the bikes at a nearby Velib station (they can be found every 100 yards or so), and did some exploring on foot. Then we found another Velib station, grabbed a pair of bikes and headed home to Risico.



In an bike-friendly city like Paris, a bicycle is just about the perfect way to get around (weather permitting of course). The freedom of being able to go anywhere in the city without having to worry about locking your bike or finding it again after exploring or walking for a few hours is really really liberating.

Hitler Wants to Ride his Mountain Bike

It is 36 degrees It has been raining non-stop since yesterday afternoon. The forecast is rain for the next three days. This is the sort of thing that drove me to spend some perfectly good money on a road bike. This video is hilarious and sums it up pretty well. Thanks to Mountain Biking by 198 for the tip.

Reality is Biting Me, Don't Let it Bite You

Just watching this trailer got me totally jacked. I can't imagine seeing the actual movie which is too bad since imagining it is my only option since I will be on business travel on the only day the movie is playing nation wide. I guess I'll have to settle for watching the trailer until the movie comes out on DVD in a year or so. This just really bites the big one.

O.G.C.B. Palooza Video Report

Ruth and Sara (my wife and daughter) called the OGCB-palooza rally the "old guy thing." They had it basically right, but that does miss some of more sublime aspects of yesterday's event. For example:

• Singles and gearies;
• 26ers, 29ers, and at least one 69er (some call them 96er but what fun is that?);
• Bicycles built for one and a couple built for two;
• Bikes with seats and bikes without (ouch);
• Geezers, youngsters, fathers, daughters, wives, old friends, and new;
• Coolers overflowing with cheap beer...Strohs, Mickey's wide-mouth, the newest expensive-sounding-cheap-beer Lionhead...and a few fancy-schmanzy beers to round out the selection;
• No bikes had a potato cannon, but I think it is just a matter of time.

Many thanks to Jim for organizing OGCB and to everyone else for rolling out the welcome mat for some new riders. I had a great time even though I left before the 3rd trip to the teeter!

Thanks again,

Chris

"Bikes, babes, and beer. Whenever life gets you down, return to the fundamentals"

-- Anonymous

Rob's Eye View of the Lakeside Trail

This is the first video posting for the blog.  It's a great 10 minute diversion from the grind and will definitely get you itching to ride. You'll also get to see something that you don't often see - Rob taking a spill (the ride occured after our recent ice storm). Sorry I had to compress the crap out of the video file so the quality suffers quite a bit (the original is smooth and crystal clear).

BTW it was a great ride last night. We had fresh powder on top of the old crust which made for lots of fish tailing, spinouts, and some grueling uphill grinds but it was really spectacular scenery and gave me an excuse to eat a big honkin' bowl of ice cream before I went to bed.