I Don't Remember

Placeholder for picture I would
have really liked to take but
couldn't

Add this to the list of things you might see while mountain biking but definitely not while sitting at home on the couch...

As we swung into the park for our sunset ride we came upon a photographer and a very well-endowed model hard at work. She was scantily clad and was man-handling a tire iron in front of some sort of sports car I don't remember what kind.

We tried to be discrete as we cruised by.  Funny since she was being anything but...

...so this Christmas if Santa brings you a Pep-Boys pinup calendar featuring a very capable-looking brunette with two middle-age mountain bikers in the background, Jim and I would be glad to autograph it for you.

P.S. Pin-up photo shoot aside we did have a great ride.  Jim's battery may be low but his vision is intact. And the rust is gone after a 2 week layoff.

Grab Bag

Tonight would be grab bag full of surprises.

We had about 20 minutes before we would rendezvous at the lake to pickup another rider. A little overambitious we found ourselves at the top of the quarry with one minute to go before the meetup. So we dropped the hammer(s) and cracked off a stupid-fast screaming descent down to the lake where we were greeted by rider #3 and...

...an acoustic duo (upright bass, guitar) jamming at the edge of the lake. They were pretty good and were playing just for the joy of playing next to a beautiful lake under a glorious sunset. It was really breathtaking, the music drifting out over the lake, the sunset. Such a contrast to the lung-busting adrenaline rush we were enjoying mere seconds ago.

We chilled and listened for a while, thanked them, and headed off to bag a few more miles before dark. Crossing the dam we noticed three people with backpacks bushwhacking through the lower field toward the spillway outlet. Could it be "Ben and Jerry", making good on their promise to ride "the breathing dragon?" Either that, or some copy-cats making their own attempt at immortality. We made a casual descent of the Sole Trail, timing our return to hopefully witness the madness first hand. When we returned, darkness had fallen and - sure enough - we could hear voices emanating from the spillway riser. They were inside "The Dragon." We listened for a good while but eventually convinced ourselves that these were copycats with no intention of following through.

We wrapped up with a spectacular lights-out ride home under a brilliant full moon. You know, the kind of moon where you cast a shadow and frankly lights are just a buzz-kill. When I got home I fetched the Benn and Jerry's Half Baked from the freezer (as is customary) and on a whim checked by email. Imagine my reaction when I saw a message posted to the C2C message board, from "Ben" stating simply "Water Slide Tonight."

Dang, we missed it...but just the same it was a heck of a night. Where else can you get an adrenaline rush, live music under a spectacular sunset, a full moon ride, and some silly spelunking...

...on a Tuesday, in my own back yard, no cover charge. God I love this place.

Chris

You Just Don't See This Every Day (or "The Breathing Dragon")

I think my words to Jim were"you never would have had that 'coon dog adventure if you were sitting home on the couch." How prophetic. Except this time it wasn't being hunted by 'coon dogs. It was...

...spelunking up the 430' outlet pipe of the Marsh Creek dam. Why (you may ask) would someone spelunk up the outlet pipe? Well for safety reasons of course - to be sure it is safe to ride downstream as a water slide!

The story starts with a typical night ride, out the lakeside trail to the New Bonus Loop. It was about 8:15pm when we reached the dam and saw a couple of guys fussing around on the spillway riser. We figured they were bikers so we slowed down to make sure they weren't having some sort of mechanical. It then became apparent they were not bikers (remember it was dark with this point) as there were no bikes, there was a large duffle, and there was a LOT of rope on the ground. Oh, and a couple of empty Hop Devils.

They explicitly asked we not use their real names so we will call them Ben and Jerry (Mike knows that's my traditional after-ride snack). Ben explained they were planning to ride through the outlet pipe, like a water slide, but first needed to recon the pipe to be sure there were no abrupt turns, protruding metal fittings, or underwater traps along the way. They had already run a lightweight fishing line through the pipe and measured the distance at 430'. And they were now busy feeding about 500' of climbing rope down that same pipe, with the intent of climbing up from the other end using the rope to assist.

We marveled at their safety consciousness and good taste in beer, and then told them we would be back after finishing our Bonus Loop ride. And so we rode the Bonus Loop - which was seemingly endless and most excellent at night I must say. Within 45 minutes we found ourselves crossing the dam on our return leg, hoping for the best.

When we arrived there was nothing to be found at the riser. No duffle bag. No piles of rope. No Hop Devils. But a rope was tied to the railing of the riser, and it ran down through the spillway and disappeared with the rushing water deep into the bowels of the dam. I tugged on the rope and it was taught. Very taught. We briefly considered the implications of untying the rope, but that's not how we roll (but it was funny to think about).

Ok, so clearly we had to hoof it down the bottom of the dam to see what was at the other end of the rope. When we got there, we could hear Ben and Jerry yukking it up inside the pipe. They were probably 20' in, just getting their bearings, taking some photos, putting on wet suits, and strapping into their climbing gear. Ben came out for a final photo, said good bye, and in he went. The yukking it up continued for a good while, but soon started to sound more distant. So we climbed back to the top of the dam and over to the riser. And to our surprise we soon saw a faint light shining inside the riser. Ben had made it!

Within a few short minutes Ben emerged into the bottom of the riser, whooping it up pretty good. Jerry had taken the easy route (our route) and took some pictures of Ben in the riser, Ben on the riser, Ben posing with us, and Ben and Jerry together.

High fives all around.

But this was apparently just the beginning. Remember, this was just the recon mission to setup for THE BIG SHOW - a high speed water slide attempt! Alas the attempt would not be tonight because apparently it will require a considerable amount of additional gear:

• Body armor
• Full face helmet
• Welding gloves
• Hiking boots
• Athletic cup
• Butt protector of some sort TBD

We chatted a little about water slides, mountain biking, wished them luck, and were on our way. I'm not quite sure how to sum this up. I mean I think we've done some crazy things - mountain bike fire jumping, kayaking the brandywine at flood stage, more fire jumping, and sending Mike across the tram - but this was off the charts by our standards. Just glad it worked out (I gave it 15% chance of having a really bad outcome). And thrilled we were out riding and had the good fortune to stumble into this most unique spectacle.

Now I can't guarantee one of these on every night ride, but I can guarantee your not going to see anything like this sitting on the couch at home!

Chris

"Go big or go home"

-- unknown

Sitting on a Bucket

I don't get it.

I do get hunting. It's what carnivores do (sorry Jamie). Most of us prefer to have someone else do the dirty work so we can buy our meat shrink-wrapped in serving-size portions from a grocery store, but in the end it's the same thing. And frankly from the victim's perspective, I'd rather be shot by a high power rifle while peacefully grazing than to "buy it" in an industrial slaughter house. So I am totally fine with hunting.

But I digress.

What I don't get is why we allow hunting in a suburban multi-use park like MCSP? I mean hikers, bikers, and horseback riders peacefully co-exist every day without fear of killing each other. But once the hunters take to the woods, the rest of us have to stay home or risk taking a frickin' bullet. It just doesn't feel so "multi-use" anymore.

Today I ran into three hunters in less than one hour. One was sitting on a bucket in the middle of a trail about 100 yards from the parking lot. I had to swerve off the trail to get around him. He had the gun, so I just said "hi" and got the hell out of there.

My opinion - flying bullets just don't mix well with hikers and bikers.

Chris

Bump in the Night

Monday's night ride started innocently enough.

Riding the along the creek near the Blue Trail climb. Jim thought he had broken a spoke so we paused for an equipment check. We could hear running water and splashing - it sounded big (i.e., not a deer). When we stopped, it stopped, abruptly...Jim and I glanced at each other then promptly saddled up and departed scene.

A minute or so later during the (miserable) Blue Trail climb we heard a strange and distinctly unpleasant howl in the distance. These did not sound like your typical dog or coyote. In between wheezes, Jim made a not-so-innocent comment "what would we do if we were chased by wild dogs?" This was followed by another pair of howls that sounded noticeably closer. That was all either of us needed - the hair on the back of my neck stood right up and I thought to myself "scared of the dark, how pathetic is this???" but we wordlessly put the hammer down to create some separation between us and the howls.

The rest of the climb was uneventful. I think there was one more offhand wild dog comment and then the conversation moved on...and the whole experience was on it's way to the dustbins of our fading middle-aged memory, or so we thought.

A short while later we were traversing the empty boat launch parking lot when we came upon a lone vehicle:

Even though we were moving briskly in order to avoid detection by "The Man", Jim noticed something peculiar about the vehicle so we circled back to investigate. Upon inspection we noted this large steel cage with very sturdy locking doors...

...affixed with this sticker...

...and it all came together. Our earlier encounter had been a nite hunter and his 'coon dogs in the process of treeing a raccoon, or attempting to tree a couple of mountain bikers.

Of course we did not have a camera with us so we had to ride home, grab a camera, and ride back to gather this photographic evidence - all the while kidding each other about Pennsyltucky, giggling about white supremacists, and cracking Ned Beatty jokes...and of course that is when we had our near run-in with the hunters returning from their nite hunt.

But you will have to join our next night ride to get that part of the story.

Chris

"Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you"

-- anonymous

Google Saddles Up

Google Street View has gone off-road and is mapping bike trails, presumably with some sort of cool looking Google tricycle festooned with hi-res panoramic cameras and GPS. They started with a bike trail in Monterey. Can the Sole Trail be far behind?

WTF #1

Can you identify this image?  Is it...

A) The notorious "fleshtone unitard?"

B) A disturbing never-before-seen Deliverance outtake?

C) The winner of the coveted green polka-dot jersey for exceptional navigational skills racing home from the awards ceremony at Chelsy's?

Correct entries will be entered into a drawing for a free bike tuneup at MRDBS, no warrantees expressed or implied.

Chris