Friday's Line Up

AccuWeather predicts a balmy 30 degrees at the 8:00 departure time, loaner lights are charging for Dougerty and Vermeil, the garage lights have been on pretty late at the McLaughlin residence, and we've got a good count for Friday's descent into the depths of debauchery Bike Bonfire and Beer Exchange. With any luck we will rival last year's turnout of 17 riders...and let me tell you, the sight of all those headlamps bobbing and weaving through woods at night is truly a sight to behold. But then again the sight of an incinerating plastic blowup doll is pretty impressive as well...

Anyway I have heard encouraging news from SF, SM, KO, TP, MR, RV (and son), MY, DM, MM, RI (and others), CD, and DC (hopeful but a lot going on with move).

Others have been kind of quiet, either planning a sneak attack or hoping to fly under the RADAR (on the couch). I would be remiss if I didn't call out a few notables: AS, JA, AD, BG, MH, and Jenna.

Everyone feel free to turn the screws on the notables, I shouldn't have to do all the dirty work.

That's all for now. 

Chris

Just About Perfect

Forecast for Friday

Well if you like firm fast trails for riding, crisp dry conditions for bonfiring, and below freezing temps for keeping your beer cold then I guess this forecast looks just about perfect for Friday's Bike-Bonfire-and-Beer-Exchange-Palooza.

We'll rally behind Kirk's house at 7:30pm so we can clip in and start spinning at 8:00pm.  Feel free to drop off your gear ahead of time (it's a bit of a hilly hike from the cul-de-sac to the bonfire site by the creek).  Let me know if  any questions.

Oh and don't be the guy sipping merlot at the neighbor's or warming the couch at home on Friday night.  No, don't be that guy.

Chris

Harmony

Harmony Hill with just enough mud and death cookies to keep you focused.  There was a price to pay for straying off the left side of the trail.

I'm learning to ride gears again.  My riding frequency is down and the SS is beating up my knees. It really is amazing what a difference in riding style, you actually forget how to ride gears effectively. For example I keep forgetting to stay seated and spin through the uphill technical stuff.

I came here yesterday to avoid the hunters. The trail network has really blossomed over the last few years, and it's only a 10 minute drive (or a 30 minute ride).  More Harmony Hill in the near future...

2010 Bike Bonfire and Beer Exchange Fun Quiz

Following is the 2010 Bike Bonfire and Beer Exchange Fun Quiz. All characters, companies, products and events described in this fun quiz are fictitious, and no similarity with any real persons or entities, living or deceased, is intended or should be inferred.


AS's wife knows that if AS goes to the bonfire that their dental deductible will be paid before the end of December.

• True
• False

DC took the fire jumping contest to new heights when he attempted to jump the bonfire:

1. With two feet
2. With a bicycle
3. With a garden tractor
4. While soaked in kerosene

In the last two bonfires MY has:.

1. Laughed and Cried
2. Laughed and Danced
3. Flown and Danced
4. All of the above

Last year MH impersonated Dr. Henry Kissinger so that he could:

1. Bring world peace
2. Be first in line for hot chili
3. Throw Jenna into the fire
4. None of the above

At the 2007 bonfire MR left the party early (and mad) and was about to walk into his house when he decided to go back to the bonfire to take a swing at one of the other riders.

• True
• False

The ladies panties that CD gave to SM as a gag gift were actually from :

1. CD's wife 
2. SM's sister 
3. Both CD's wife and SM's sister 
4. The Cougar at Chelsey's

The day after the 2008 bonfire when MR could not find his Best Beer Presentation contest entry, he accused MO7S of destroying the family heirloom. He was upset because of the rule that all entries must burn to be eligible. Where was the family heirloom?

1. In the fire pit (ashes)
2. Somewhere east of Downingtown in the Brandywine Creek
3. Safely stashed in his truck parked in his driveway
4. None of the above

The "MRDBS" sign nailed to a tree on the Bonus Loop stands for:

1. MR's Deep Brain Stimulation
2. MR's Drunken Bike Shop
3. MR's Drunken Brain Stimulation
4. None of the above

One of our riders MM was nicknamed "DB4."  In his case "DB" stands for

1. Diamond Back
2. Douche Bag
3. Double Black-diamond
4. Diarrhea Bubble

TP's commitment to mountain biking is suspect because:

1. His other bike is a motorcycle
2. His front fork is a lefty
3. All of the above
4. None of the above

What was The Cougar's opening line at Chelsea's?

1. "You guys from around here?"
2. "Is that a spanner wrench in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
3. "I'm no spring chicken, but I am a cougar!  Grrrrrrr!"
4. "I need to get me some Irish meat and potatoes!"

DM purchased a bike off eBay "because it looked cool." Too bad for him because this bike has an unfortunate tendency to:

1. Debit his PayPal account
2. Fold in half when traversing uneven ground
3. None of the above
4. All of the above

Match the rider with the riding outfit or accessory that they DID wear on at least one ride:

• Riders
1. RV
2. DM
3. JA
4. DC
5. BG
• Outfit/accessory: 
1. Flesh-tone leotards
2. Bootyliscious booties with pink trim
3. Skate-boarder helmet
4. Wool sport coat
5. Green polka-dot union suit

SF is one of the few with a trail named after him.  This trail is called:

1. SF's demise
2. The Bonus Loop
3. SF's mud pit
4. Sidewinder

KO is considered an anti-social mountain biker because he:

1. Brings rotten wood to the bonfire
2. Rides while listening to an iPod
3. Won't chew tobacco (except once in the BVIs)
4. All of the above

After someone crashes RI has been known to say:

1. "Pain is temporary, glory is forever"
2. "Chicks dig the dirty ones"
3. ”I’d rather have a brother that was gay than a cousin that was a roadie"
4. 1 and 2

Please click the comment link at the bottom of this post to record your answers. The winner will get a free ride with SM to the windowless Video-X-Press in Malvern to shop for party favors. 

Announcing the 5th Annual Bike Bonfire and Beer Exchange

This note is to officially announce that the 5th Annual Bike Bonfire and Beer Exchange will be held on Friday December 17th.  

We'll kick off the evening with the requisite night ride through Marsh Creek State Park where, if the past four years are any indication, we'll experience frozen fingers, mechanical breakdowns, and if we're lucky a couple of spectacular crashes during the mad dash back to the security of the beer and the fire pit.

Upon our return, we'll ignite a massive pile of kiln-dried kerosene-soaked lumber and settle in for a long night of holiday story telling, holiday beer drinking, holiday fire jumping, holiday tooth chipping, and general holiday debauchery under the stars.  There is even talk of setting up a holiday bike skills course so we can increase the odds of a holiday broken collarbone. 

And finally the namesake beer exchange. This is  where we memorialize the evening with the signature "best beer presentation" contest.  As you will see from previous years' reports the competition is stiff and the bar is raised (or lowered depending on your perspective) each year, but the winner earns much exalted alpha-male status at a years' worth of block parties and backyard BBQs. Even last year's runner-up - who lost on an technicality - is now a local legend.

More details to come on what to bring, exact time, contest fine print, etc. Also note we can scrounge up a few loaner night lights, bicycles, and helmets (all required) if you let us know far enough ahead of time. All you really need to worry about at this point is:

1. Informing your wife that you'll be sleeping on the couch that night (if you're lucky) and
2. Planning the theme for your beer presentation (let your brain stem do the thinking here)

Chris

P.S. In case you want to see how "low" you can go with the contest or just get stoked by reading about the previous years' events, here are the ride reports:

• 2009 - dancing clydesdale
• 2008 - flying clydesdale
• 2007 - nothing good happens after 2am
• 2006 - defiled again

A Terrible Night

Steve hasn't been on a bike in almost a year. Not since Jenna bit the big one.  Yet he decided to climb back onto a single-track night ride with a persnickety rear derailleur and failing headlamp. Now that is true mo7s style!

And thanks to Jim for the personal send-off at Pinecroft and Kaiser. That was a first!

By the way it was a spectacular moonlit night, mid 50s. A terrible night for couch surfing, but most excellent for biking...

"Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for one more ride."
-- Unknown

Double Trouble

It was sad and hilarious at the same time.

Andy set a blistering pace. Bob said he was "riding it like he stole it." To his credit Andy was committed to keeping us on schedule to hit 19 miles of highlights in two hours - the Fox Pen, Crack Head Bob, and some new trails from the Jamboree. I managed to ride his wheel for about 15 minutes then dropped back to the #4 (out of 5) position where I belonged.

The GPS was acting a little finicky so there were frequent stops to consult on navigation. And then Andy would get a sense of urgency to make up for lost time. The result was a series of furious 10 minute dashes punctuated by 2 minute stops to consult the GPS and scratch our heads. Interval training. Sort of.

The sad part was that our #5 rider was suffering off the back and EVERY time we stopped and he caught up with us Andy would immediately shove off  for another frantic dash with zero opportunity for #5 to unclip much less catch his breath. But the hilarious part was that EVERY time we stopped and #5 caught up with us, Andy would immediately shove off  for another frantic dash with zero opportunity for #5 to unclip much less catch his breath.

Luckily #5 saw the (sick) humor in this and suffered oh so gracefully.

The ride home was glorious. Four of is in the F150 King Cab with seat heaters all around. Let me tell you a seat heater after a 2 hour beat down feels awesome. We had a beer and checked out MikeM's back yard skills course, and then MikeR and I headed back to the 'hood and as I was unloading my bike I got a text message from Jimmy. Something to the effect of "heading out for a ride after I finish my sandwhich, anyone want to join me?" There I was all suited up with my bike but...my legs were screaming NO!

So I said YES.

And so Jim and I cranked out a short ride at the lake, my legs screaming I TOLD YOU SO the entire time. But it was spectacular just the same, brilliant sunshine and low 50s. 

So now here I sit on the couch, fire crackling in the fireplace, football on the big screen. I think I'll have me some Ben and Jerry's Half Baked GUILT FREE.

Chris

"Art is suffering." 

     -- Squidward Tentacles