Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Bike Bonfire and Beer Exchange Fun Quiz for 2014

Back by popular demand, here is the Bike Bonfire and Beer Exchange Fun Quiz for 2014... 

1. At Mike's Tiki bar in East BurkeVermont, four dollars will buy you:
a) A warm beer
b) A cold beer and a warm shower
c) A cold beer and a space heater with an empty propane tank
d) A french Canadian cycling chick and a cold shower
2. "Ginger lips" is:
a) An organic lip balm made from hemp and ginger root oil
b) A taunt used to provoke red heads, as in "get back in your biscuit tin, ginger lips"
c) Someone who insists on ordering fish tacos even when barbecued pork shanks are on the menu
d) All of the above
3. The Dirty Penny Fan Club is:
a) Figment of our imaginations
b) Back in business after a brief but alarming 12 hour hiatus
c) A hall of mirrors that makes big things look small and possibly visa versa
d) All of the above
4. Which of the following has never happened at a Bike, Bonfire, Beer Exchange:
a) Burning of a scantily clad blowup doll
b) An Irishman getting a sunburn
c) Driving a lawn mower through the bonfire
d) Visitation by a homeless guy wearing spandex
e) An Irishman taking a swing at a town council member
f) Drinking beer from a toilet bowl
g) None of the above (i.e., they have all happened)
5. The "Brew Screw" is:
a) A novelty item made by mountain bikers in a garage in Pennsylvania
b) A form of fraternity hazing that has been mostly outlawed except in Kentucky
c) Espresso chased with fresh squeezed grapefruit juice
d) At the bottom of Marsh Creek Lake with a cheap Welgo left-side pedal attached to it.
e) Both a and d
6. During the 2014 Kingdom Trails trip, Andy Doble earned $80 cash by:
a) Playing Texas Hold'em in a barn outside of town
b) Playing slot machines at a dive bar just north of the US/Canadian border
c) Throwing a hissy-fit at the LBS when his fancy Niner frame cracked
7. During the 2014 Kingdom Trails trip, how did we learn that Chris' nickname is "Rug Rat." 
a) He was caught sneaking to the bathroom in his flannel RugRats cartoon pajamas
b) His Navy buddy Marc told us
c) He mumbled something about it while half asleep in the lounge chair by the wood stove
d) Someone saw it tatoo'd on his leg
e) None of the above (his real nickname is "Maverick") 
8. The 2014 Cinco de Mayo ride featured:
a) Hot dog tacos with cabbage and barbecue sauce
b) A teak coffee table and a 7' blowup cactus
c) Three donkeys and a guy playing guitar
d) Home made heirloom tomato salsa eaten off the bottom of a SIDI riding shoe
e) Bike riders riding by and smashing a pinata with their heads
f) A horrified trail runner splayed out on the ground
9. Steerer tubes should be cut:
a) By a professional
b) By someone who is not drinking beer
c) By a chopsaw
d) Once but only after measuring twice
10. Two DB's were DQ'd from the Brandywine race because they:

a) Were juicing
b) Wore flesh colored spandex
c) Stopped for unsanctioned hydration during the race
d) Couldn't follow instructions
11. The January 2014 "Tour duh" planning meeting at Victory resulted in:
a) A detailed plan for the event of the century
b) A bar tab of $147.58
c) Decision that Corinne will be our waitress for all future "Tour duh" planning meetings
d) A bunch of scribbles on the back of a paper napkin
Happy holidays, and don't forget to...

..."use it while you still have it"
     -- Gasp4Air

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Fat Bike Beat Down

Five and a half hours into the ride we ran down our list of aches and pains. "Oh God my butt is KILLING me". "My hands are sore". "My back and neck hurt". "My knees are a mess". "The balls of my friggin' feet are sore" (Bryan was literally pedaling with his heels at this point).
It has been months since we've indulged in a beat down of this magnitude. Even longer since we've gotten up at 5:00am in sub-freezing weather for the beat down. 

Our Tour de Perkiomen (led by Rob - thank you FaceBook) used miles of scenic creek-side Perkiomen trail to string together a grind up the backside and down the front side of Spring Mountain and a spin around Knight Lake in Green Lane Park. Cool temps and a warm sun made for ideal riding conditions. 

Most of us were also on fat bikes which makes just about any ride more fun. Fat bikes are ironically very nimble and they go just about anywhere as long as have the legs to keep pushing the pedals. They also put smiles on the faces of civilians who think they look like clown bikes. 

And there is something immensely gratifying about suffering together and draining the tank bone dry once in a while.


"Suffering has a luminous beauty, and cleanses the mind in much the same way a wildfire clears an overgrown forest."
     -- Mike Ferrentino

P.S. Thanks to Kirk and Rob for the snaps.