Sitting on a Bucket

I don't get it.

I do get hunting. It's what carnivores do (sorry Jamie). Most of us prefer to have someone else do the dirty work so we can buy our meat shrink-wrapped in serving-size portions from a grocery store, but in the end it's the same thing. And frankly from the victim's perspective, I'd rather be shot by a high power rifle while peacefully grazing than to "buy it" in an industrial slaughter house. So I am totally fine with hunting.

But I digress.

What I don't get is why we allow hunting in a suburban multi-use park like MCSP? I mean hikers, bikers, and horseback riders peacefully co-exist every day without fear of killing each other. But once the hunters take to the woods, the rest of us have to stay home or risk taking a frickin' bullet. It just doesn't feel so "multi-use" anymore.

Today I ran into three hunters in less than one hour. One was sitting on a bucket in the middle of a trail about 100 yards from the parking lot. I had to swerve off the trail to get around him. He had the gun, so I just said "hi" and got the hell out of there.

My opinion - flying bullets just don't mix well with hikers and bikers.

Chris

How do you rate?

The mo7s actuaries just notified me that we're approaching the high water mark for DSLC. DSLC stands for "Days Since Last Crash" and is a metric that we track closely here at mo7s headquarters.

Some highlights:

• Our longest "dry spell" was the 129 days between DC's 12/20/07 Christmas Crash near the Struble and MR's 4/27/08 Plastic Surgery Crash on the Sole trail. That's a long time.
• CD and DC are tied for first (or last) with 4 notables each (notable = potentially season ending) and MR is a close second, but honorable mention has to go to JC for the Showboat Crash which will live in infamy forever.
• DSLC really bottomed out during June and July of last year. The average DSLC during that period was just 9. That means almost one notable crash per week. Now thatis some serious entertainment value but the problem is that the burden was shouldered by a relative few riders (myself included). Don't count on the same guys to carry the load this this summer, we're retired now.

What to make of this drivel? Well you can interpret it in numerous ways:

1. Apathetic - you have no pulse and frankly don't care;
2. Fatalistic - we are doomed to have a crash sometime in the next week and you don't want to be the one so this is just one more excuse to just stay home;
3. Voyeuristic - like fatalistic, except you recognize that it will probably be someone else and you don't want to miss seeing the carnage first hand;
4. Optimistic - unlike fatalistic and voyeuristic, you recognize that we are capable of great things like riding bicycles without falling down;
5. Realistic - stuff happens, I'd rather have it happen outdoors on a bike than indoors staring at the boob tube (or whatever it is people do when they're not riding bikes).

I am wavering somewhere between 4 and 5 (I would say 4.4). Where do you rate yourself?

Chris

"Great things are done when men and mountains meet. This is not done by jostling in the street"

--William Blake

Talk Dirty to Me

Last weekend (Thanksgiving) while on a casual stroll with my family in the Adirondack mountains trying to work off the fog from days of endless eating, drinking, and napping, I innocently dropped the term "babyhead" to describe a certain trail feature to my Mom.  The reaction from her (horror) abruptly jolted me out of my turkey-and-pecan-pie-induced trance and I was reminded that the infantile language we bikers use can actually be quite amusing.  So I shamelessly committed myself to frittering away the remainder of that day to capture some of these terms in this blog for my amusement, and yours.  

I am sure you can find many cycling dictionaries out there, but this one is special - it is grounded our own local "dialect" - the select slang terms that we customarily use in our cozy little biking family.  I have even cited our own people or locales where appropriate.   

I am sure I have missed some doozies, so if you think of any please send them my way and I'll be sure to include them in the next MO7S glossary (with proper attribution of course).  I'll go out on a limb right now and say that this might be an annual thing, a fritter-the-time-away-between-naps Thanksgiving  tradition of sorts.  

So here goes, the official unexpurgated  2008 MO7S Biking Glossary:

A-B

• Babyheads - terrain with many medium size rocks (roughly the size of a baby's head) protruding from the ground which make negotiating a trail treacherous.  Similar to deathcookies, but bigger.  French Creek is a babyhead wonderland.  
  
• Bacon - large thick scabs found on shins, knees, arms, and elbows resulting from a bike crash.  Handy distraction during long weekday conference calls (picking them that is).
  
• Bonk - expression used by cyclists to describe exercise induced low blood sugar levels; a feeling of light-headedness and weakness in all limbs. "I was bonking until Chris gave me his Gatorade"  Has fallen out of usage in recent years due to alternative meanings not appropriate for this blog.
  
• Booty - sock like neoprene cover for biking shoes that keeps feet warm and dry during cold muddy winter rides.  For bootylicious please see Jim.
  
• Bunny hop - to lift both wheels off the ground by crouching down and then exploding upward, pulling the bike with you. Useful for clearing obstructions such as railroad ties, rocks, and small logs. 
  

C-D

• Chain ring tattoo - the dotted-line scar you get from gouging your shin on the chain ring. Also known as a rookie mark.
  
• Chainsuck - when the chain fails to cleanly disengage as it leaves a chainring or sprocket and begins to wrap around, generally due to a bent tooth or stiff chain link.
  
• Clipless - misleading name for a pedal-and-shoe system where pedals mechanically clip onto cleats on the sole of your shoe.  Always entertaining the first time someone (Matt) rides with them.
  
• Dab - touch the ground with your foot in order to maintain balance through a tricky piece of trail.  Also shoulder dab, done against a passing tree or fence post.  Considered to be bad form.  "That was pretty good crossing that stream, too bad you had to dab."
  
• Double butted - spokes that are a heavier gauge at the ends than the middle, strength with less weight penalty.  May also be triple-butted (3 different gauges), getting into J-Lo territory now...  
  
• Doubletrack - path that is as wide or wider than two bikes, and only half as much fun as singletrack (inverse relationship).  See Singletrack
  

E-F

• Endo - an abrupt trip over the front handlebars, to go "end over".  Often characterized by matching thigh bruises where your legs impact the handlebars on the way over. 
  
• Epic - a ride that must last for at least six hours and include at least three mechanicals, one of which requires a trip back to the car for a special tool. Epics are usually started with a statement like "the trail looks easy, it should about take two hours." Think Blue Marsh (Matt).
  
• Face plant - in a fall when your face is the first part of your body to impact the ground. In the most extreme cases it may leave a nose shaped imprint in the dirt.  Also known as a digger. Ask DaveM about how the "O positive" trail got it's name.
  
• Fixie - a bicycle with a single rear cog affixed directly to the hub of the wheel.  A fixie does not allow coasting.  The ultimate in cycling simplicity, eclipsed only by the unicycle.
  
• Full rigid - frame with no suspension.  See Full Squishy, Hardtail
  
• Full squishy - both wheels suspended, full suspension.  See Full Rigid, Hardtail
  

G-H

• Granny gear - the lowest (easiest) gear ratio.  So easy to pedal your grandmother could do it.
  
• Gravity - style of riding that depends primarily on gravity for propulsion rather than pedalling.  Downhill DH and Free Riding FR or gravity oriented, while Cross Country XC and All Mountain AM use both gravity and pedalling.  "Snowflake: I don't like XC because it's too slow, too boring, and too much work"
  
• Grind - a long slow painful climb.  Alternatively, to rub two things together in a forceful manner. 
  
• Hammer- to ride fast and hard.
  
• Hammer Head- someone who doesn’t know the meaning of "enjoyable pace". They usually ride hard and fast all the time.
  
• Hard tail - rear wheel is rigidly affixed to the bike frame, rear not suspended.  See Full Rigid, Full Squishy
  

L-M

• Lawyer Tabs - Ridges or bumps on the front fork dropouts that keep the wheel semi-secured even if the quick release is not tightened.  This is done as a defense against frivolous lawsuits.  It also means that the quick release must be adjusted every time it is used, essentially making it a slow-release.  "Did you see that guy crash when is front wheel came off while grabbing some air off the curb on the way to the ice cream store with his 8 year old kid?  Too bad he didn't have lawyer tabs."  Jamie can elaborate.
  
• Lefty - Cannondale's innovative mountain bike suspension fork (half of one actually).  Alternatively a term for a marijunana cigarette or someone with liberal political leanings.
  
• Line - the fastest or safest way through a technical section of trail.
  
• Milk Run - a trip with many stops
  
• Mojo - action figure or other idolotry affixed to the seatpost of your bike, for example Jimmy Snooka.
  
• MRDBS - Mike Rikey's Drunken Bike Shop.  'nuff said.  
• Mule - rider at the front of the pace line to Chelsy's; by breaking the wind (as opposed to just breaking wind) this rider makes it easier for the riders behind him.
  

N-R

• Nipple - Umm...that thingie that affixes the spoke to the rim.  They come in brass and aluminum.  
  
• NOOB - Term of endearment for someone new to mountain biking.  Phonetically derived from "newbie".
  
• Organ donor - someone who rides without a helmet.
  
• Pace line - really stupid way that we conserve energy during our mad dashes to and from beer drinking sessions at Chelsey's.
  
• Rat trap - type of platform pedal with nasty protrusions to reduce chances of feet slipping off (the same protrusions that fillet your shins when your feet eventually do slip off).
  
• Roadie - to ride road bikes, often includes brighly colored spandex attire.  Also to transport mountain bikes via motorized vehicle to a remote destination, should include earth tone clothing and little if any spandex.  Alternatively, an alchoholic drink that you have in the car, maybe after the bike ride.
  

S-T

• Singletrack - path that is the width of a single bike, and twice as much fun as doubletrack (inverse relationship).  See Doubletrack
  
• Snake bite - signature punctures that result when the inner tube is pinched by the rim, as in a high speed impact with a log or rock.  Or a shot of Yukon Jack with a splash of lime.
  
• Swag - free stuff, sometimes given away as trinkets by your local bike shop (e.g., water bottles, stickers).  See Trail Swag
  
• Taco - when a wheel folds over on itself, pretty much beyond repair.
  
• Thudbuster - a name for when DaveC crashes, generally near the end of our annual holiday bike ride and beer exchange down by Sebastian's mudpit.  Also a suspension seat-post from Cane Creek.
  
• Track stand - to balance on your bike while stationary.
  
• Trail swag - free stuff, found on side of trail (e.g., bike pumps, car keys).  See Swag
  
• 29er - Bicycle with 29" diameter wheels instead of the customary 26", reportedly roll better over obstacles.
  
• 69er - Bicycle with 29" diameter front wheel and 26" diameter rear wheel.  Purported to have the advantages of a 29" bike (rolls well over obstacles) and a 26" bike (light weight and low center of gravity).
  

U-Z

• Weight weenie - someone who cares more about the weight of their bike than riding it.
  
• Wrench – someone who has a wrench and knows how to use it.
  

Saturday Morning Beat Down

After a Friday late night bike repair (yes, alcohol was involved) we rallied for early Saturday Morning Beat Down at Fair Hill. We hit all the highlights including the Fox Pen and the crowd favorite Crackhead Bob. Our two newest riders turned in an inspiring performance, notably the one who showed up on a 20 year old Trek all rigid complete with school book carrier and bungee attached water bottles. For those who were interested, I checked the blog and estimate the ride was around 15 miles which does not sound like much - if you were on this ride you now know why measuring mountain bike rides in miles is a pretty useless measure of level of difficulty or fun factor.

Hoping we see those smiling sweaty NooB faces on future rides. Speaking of future rides -- we discussed the merits of moving ride times up to help beat the heat and leave more of the day intact for family related activities...so we're going to try the following modified schedule:

• Tuesday morning 6:00am
  
• Thursday evening 8:30pm (no change)
  
• Sunday morning 8:00 am

Departures are from Upper Lyndenwood.

Chris

"I find that climbing singlespeed is like eating really spicy food -- it's OK until you stop, and then it starts to burn and you feel like you're going to puke"
-- Anonymous single speeder and spicy food eater

Clear Sailing for the Irish

Small crowd but great ride today. One rider was wrapping up around 10am so he swung by to say hi. Judging by the condition of him and his bike the conditions were pretty greasy in the fast turns. He also admitted to doing some long overdue trail maintenance on the new connector trail, removing an obstacle that had been giving our Irish riders some fits.

Hats off to Jamie who graduated from NooB status with an aggressive ride today that left him very muddy and a little bloody but smiling ear to ear. He even demonstrated how to use a rock and a little elbow grease to tuneup his Y-bike mid-ride. Great stuff.

Capital improvements have continued on the east side. A new (3rd) bridge linking to the connector and a skills course spouting up over at the bonus loop. Ahern took a run at it on Friday (better man than I).

Standard ride schedule:

• Tuesday morning 6:30am (I am out of town so will miss this one)
  
• Thursday night 8:30pm (back with a vengeance)
  

Thanks,
Chris

"There is nothing to fear but fear itself,
and spiders."
-anonymous

What Bike This Week?

Ok so right now it looks like a small but distinguished group of MH, JC, DM, CD with an early 9am start on Sunday. Any and all are encouraged to jump on - you have to be here if you want to see the latest in the "what bike is Jamie riding this week" saga. Rumor is a used police bike, maybe with real bullet holes instead of the fake bullet holes on that ugly yellow monster he rode last week. Another rumor circulating that KO took a Friday afternoon spin on his bike - practicing for a Sunday surprise? You have to be here to find out! Departing from Lower Lyndenwood at 9am Sunday. ** note time change for this week **

Chris

Hibernia Vibes

Solid ride tonight, trails are steadily improving. Ride did include some drama - high speed impact with some local wildlife. No harm done - rider and owl are both doing fine.

Hibernia is shaping up nicely with lots of positive vibes from the gang (see below). We even have a couple of family-relay entrants (great way to get out of the running part of the event). You still have almost 6 weeks to work up to a 2x2 mile jog in the woods (the bike part is easy - it's basically a Sunday ride with a sense of urgency). So snap yourself out of that winter funk, plunk that money down, and show your kids that the old codger still has some game. Current status:

Positive vibes, money plunked, officially have some game:

• JimT - first in class last year, obviously needs some more competition
• Chris - trying to set a good example

Positive vibes but money not yet plunked, TBD if they have game:

• MikeR - relay with wife Kristin (Kristin is marathoner)
• Andy - relay with daughter Megan (Megan is fired up)
• Steve - bought new bike for the event, so has skin in the game
• JimA - scheduling conflict, feverishly working on it
• MikeY - ready to jump in, just needs a push (or pull)
• Sebastian - ready to jump in, just needs a pull (or push)
• Bob - said it "sounds good" which I think means "all in"
• Jamie - says he is game, impressive since I don't think he has his bike yet

No vibes, no money, may be on life support:

• DaveC - it's time my warm weather friend...
• Matt - hello, anybody there? Where is that golf-outing game-face?
• DaveM - dude, do the relay with Kelly...
• Rob - time to rebound from the double-flat last year and show off those USTs
• Chris Dougherty - the perfect brother-in-law bonding experience
• Sean - didn't rule it out, but didn't rule it in either

No vibes, no money, no game -or- has a pretty good excuse:

• Kirk - family commitment (Sean's first communion)

click me now ==> registration <== click me now

Ride Schedule - I am traveling Saturday-Wednesday but I'll throw it out there: Sunday depart Upper @ 10am. Standard weekday ride schedule next week is Tuesday 8:30pm Upper** (**change) and Thursday 8:30pm Upper. Anyone feel free to amend (i.e., take Andy up on his Hibernia race course tour offer).

MO7S: Finally if you'd need to relive the fun of the past couple of years or read the banter from the last few races, I have archived some of our old emails in the form of a blog at http://mo7s.blogspot.com/. The first person to figure out "MO7S" wins a free pat on the back. Sebastian to review and judge all entries.

Chris