Five Days in The Kingdom (Part 3 The Trails)

In my previous post I explored of the culinary aspects of the trip. But this was a bike trip, and we did spend 3-4 hours each day railing the awesome trails of Northern Vermont...

All three days were strong rides. Day one was a mad dash to Troll Stroll, Tap and Die, then then everything we could find on our way to old classic Sidewinder. It was a bit like a bunch of twelve year olds at a candy store. "I'll have one of those and one of those, oh and I want that and that and that. And some more of these, and those over there too." We'd had a year to anticipate this return trip and it showed. We rode hard all day.

Day two was epic, hitting both sides of the park which was unprecedented for us. It's a lot of miles and a load of climbing, but also miles of epic downhills and miles of smiles. I can't say enough good things about that the Kingdom Trails Association has done here, it is simply amazing and I'm already counting the days until next year.

Day three everyone was beginning to show some wear and tear, but enthusiasm trumps all and so we rode. And we rode.

It's always a challenge to rack and stack the trails, agree on a top 3 or a top 5, they are so varied and honestly all so awesome. Sidewinder has to be in that list with the adrenaline pumping drops and 2G compressions. Tap and Die is a perennial favorite along with Farm Junk and River Wood. But I have to say the new Bear Back trail is a piece of work, I just wish I had more legs for the last half. There, that's my rack and stack.

Chris

"There is nothing, absolutely nothing, quite so worthwhile as simply messing about on bicycles "
     -- Tom Kunich

Five Days in The Kingdom (Part 2 From Spam to Fois Gras)

In my previous post I shared an infographic summary and some pithy expert analysis. Food is a big part of any cyclist's life so in this post I will dive into some of the culinary aspects of the trip.

On Friday afternoon we were relaxing après-ride on front deck with a million dollar view of The Kingdom, when Sean brought out the Fois Gras. I'm not even going to attempt describing the flavor, I'll just use the f-word. It was fabulous, off the chart as you saw in the infographic. Fat and fabulous.

Tangent: It has got to be tough showing up for a guys weekend as a restaurateur. I mean we know the guy can do amazing things with food, but this is supposed to be a relaxing trip and we all had reservations about him having to cook (work?) on his vacation. But he clearly loves to do this (it shows) and he brought his A-game to The Kingdom. which added a whole new dimension to an already packed weekend.. 

Sean's next masterpiece production was a classic steak dinner for eleven! 13 beautifully marbled ribeye steaks grilled over a massive pile of coals in the firepit. Two of them were grilled "dirty" which means thrown directly on the red hot coals for about 40 seconds per side. All this served with baked potatoes piled high with amazing sour cream and bacon, grilled broccoli, and 3 bottles of red wine. We enjoyed this dinner as a group, all seated at the huge dining table in the great room. Eleven guys riding hard each day, partying hard each night, and breaking bread together with this wonderful meal is a memory I will cherish forever.

So yeah, beef and duck fat.

But that's not all. The weekend also featured MikeR's smoked London broil, bacon for breakfast, and bacon on the trail. I think we had something resembling a salad on Sunday night but I can't be sure due to the beef-induced haze. Oh and bacon stuffed baked potatoes and crisp fried Spam for breakfast (that "mechanically separated" wonder food from my childhood). Three pounds of home-made beef jerky was used to sustain the beef intake between meals. 

Tangent: Bacon as a trail snack is a new discovery. The salt (an electrolyte) is good protection against cramps, and the fat actually soothes a stomach that may be pickled from energy drinks and power bars. New addition to the big ride check list.

This five day beef-and-bacon-fest took a toll on me, and once home I had to reboot my lower gastro-intestinal system. This took days of turning various dials such as Metamucil, Imodium, gallons of water, about a bushel of bran flakes, and precisely timed coffee breaks. It's now day five and I think I'm fully operational again.

So clearly not a sustainable diet and probably deadly if it were, but food is such a social thing and for a few days this decadence was a glorious aspect of this already incredible trip.

Chris

"At this moment, nothing else exists"
     -- Willow Koerber's Uncle Doug (after drinking a bottle of jalapeño sauce)

From Spam to Fois Gras in 5 Days (or Why I Needed to Reboot My Lower-GI System This Week)

The infographic below summarizes the our five day adventure in Northern Vermont (a.k.a., "The Kingdom"). The methodology is derived from Gartner Group's "Magic Quadrant" research methodology. The first dimension represents ability to execute.  This is the ability to "get'r done" and is independent of the merits of the idea.  For the second dimension I considered the merits using a scale ranging from "debauchery" to "suave sophistication". Each activity is represented as a bubble on this 2-dimensional continuum, with bubble size representing the duration or number of participants, and bubble color indicating risk of injury which is rarely a consideration apparently.

PLEASE CLICK INFOGRAPHIC TO EXPAND

Executive Summary:

1. We pretty much steered clear of the Roadie Quadrant but had a close call with Tom's kit. Thankfully his Leadville 100 credentials nudged that bubble out of that dark corner of the analysis. Barely.
2. There is some potential in the Emerging Talent quadrant but it needs to be carefully nurtured and developed to keep it on track. Along those lines, someone mentioned jamming a screwdriver into the Bluetooth speaker. Perhaps one of those parental access codes would be useful here.
3. Overall execution was very strong with this being our third consecutive year, as indicated by the activities tendency toward the top two quadrants. While clusters are certainly entertaining, I think this is a reflection of the depth of talent and the diversity in this group. Give yourselves a pat on the pack for that one.
4. There is some risky behavior taking place but it is not excessive and most of them are episodic so little to worry us here.
5. Good balance between Debauchery and Sophistication. This is a very difficult balance to achieve, precious few can sustain it over a five day period. This may be part of the "secret sauce" that makes this such a fantastic weekend each year.

Next up will be posts diving into detail on extracurricular activities, culinary high points, and other aspects of the trip. Stay tuned.

Chris

"You say proboscis, I say proboscis"
     -- Mike Miller, admiring a fly on Rob's trail bacon.

A Bee in the Bonnet

Post ride looking for something cold

On our rides we often say "you don't get this stuff sitting on the couch at home." True but for a few minutes yesterday that couch was looking pretty good...


The ride was Nockamixon. Hot and humid it was our 3rd ride in as many days. We were wrapping up a short food break when it started. A couple painful stings and a few confused expletives. A swarm of very angry wasps was upon us. A hundred yards of frantic pedaling to get away from the nest but the stinging continued and I had to stop in a vain attempt to swat them away. But then the swarm increased. Damn, they were following us! More frantic pedaling. My ankles and left hand were already a mess but now they were stinging under my helmet and shirt and - ahem - in my shorts. They are pissed and they are following us and we can't seem to lose them. Now everything is a blur of pedaling and stinging and swatting and cursing. We roll up on a trail work crew. I ditch the bike and run behind a tree to drop my drawers. All clear. Shake my clothes. Swearing. I toss my helmet to the ground and ... the mystery is solved. Out of my helmet rolls a nest of yellow jackets. Sonofabitch.

So they weren't exactly chasing us...The entire time we were pedaling "away" from the nest, they were bouncing along in or on my helmet getting more and more pissed and doing what they do when they get pissed. Goddamit.

Moments prior. Notice there
is no cursing or swatting.

I counted about a dozen stings. Head, hands, back, and butt. My ankles got it really good with 5-6 stings but it gets better ... my crotch and ...yes it gets even better still ... one right on the family jewels. Ironically it's the ankles that were the most "uncomfortable." Once it was apparent none of us were going into apoplectic shock we swore a couple more times and eventually got our heads back into the game and finished with 90 minutes of miles and smiles.

Post ride we grabbed a cooler of coldies from the truck so we could relax for the customary post-ride debrief (the first coldie went straight into my shorts). As usual the conversation was pithy and far ranging but can be summarized as:

• Check your helmet. Now check it again.
• It can be a fine line between thanking someone for doing you a big favor and thinking you want to punch them in the face.
• Everyone has their price. No exceptions.
• Mangoes are awesome.

So in the end I have to say I'm still glad I got off the couch yesterday to hang out with this bunch. And with the itching and swelling that I've got going right now, that is "sayin' something."

Chris

“You do something stupid, you gotta act like it didn't hurt" 
     – Anonymous

Thirteen Degrees North

Crew aboard STW

First blog post in five month but it is a doozie...the return of The Joy Boys to Caribbean sailing! It reads more like a ship's log than any sort of coherent story, but I want to get it down in writing before the details start fading. It's missing some color (Cathyann, PSV resort bar, etc) but those stories are best told in person anyway. I hope you enjoy 5% as much as I did!


Day 1 Downingtown to St. Vincent

• My first delousing leaving Trinidad (thanks LIAT).
• Lisa met us at airport and delivered is quickly and safely to Blue Lagoon (thanks TMM).
• Beachside chart briefing with John West, very thorough and some great stories.
• Lisa took us to opening of Carnival @ Victoria Park Kingstown – old (decrepit) soccer stadium packed beyond capacity, live music, and primitive but serviceable facilities. Chatted with the Prime Minister Ralph Gonsalves at the beer tent.



The beaches on Mustique don't suck

• After a visually inspiring drive through the streets of Kingstown, we returned to Blue Lagoon to watch Mayweather v. Pacquiao in the outdoor bar.

Day 2 Sail to Mustique

• Explored ashore, snorkeled, chased some goats, hunted some coconuts, and busted a gut over Jim’s header boarding STW.
• Ashore again, nice walk past the airport to Cotton House.
• Introduced to “Sparrow” rum @ Basil’s (definitely flammable).



Fishing village with Basil's in
the background.

• Late that night, “Tranquility” (a 78’ cat) drags off their anchor and is drifting toward Montezuma Shoal. Unable to hail harbor master on VHF16, so we Seal Team 6 boards the dinghy with a couple PFDs, a flashlight, and a walkie talkie and saves the day for some clueless sailors. The dinghy is not seaworthy, so remaining crew relieved we didn’t have to leave the mooring ball in the dark to rescue Seal Team 6.

Day 3 Explore Mustique, sail to Tobago Cays

• Rented a “mule”, explored the entire island including Macaroni beach (rugged and remote) and Obsidian bay (black sand beach) on the far side.
• Firefly – Dave finds ringing cell phone, we enjoy an $80 round of drinks and the classy casual luxury. Dave parked in Lady Cat Jagger’s personal barstool.
• 4.5 hour sail to Tobago Cays, saw many flying fish. Put the hand line in, lost a lure to something with very sharp teeth.



View of turtle sanctuary and Tobago
Cays from Baradel island.

• First anchoring – shallow crowded anchorage, windy since the reef breaks the swell but not the wind.

Day 4 – Explore Tobago Cays and sail to Petite St Vincent

• After breakfast we snorkeled the turtle sanctuary the explored Baradel on foot. Many iguanas and some great views.
• Returning to STW, the dinghy takes on water. A lot of water. It would be on the bottom of the Cay if it weren’t inflatable. 
•  “Free Willy” and “Mr. Quality” sold us a bunch of T-shirts.
• Sailing to PSV we get our first glimpse of Happy Island.
• Added a beer can teaser to our fishing gear, but still nothing on the hook.
• Slight navigational issue thinking the shoal off Mopion was Pinese rock. Almost tried to sail between them. We would not have made it. Yikes!
• Anchored off PSV in 2kt current, need to pay attention while swimming.
• This was our third day of sailing, the cobwebs are mostly gone and crew is working really well together.
• Seal Team 5 takes dingy ride thru international waters to Petite Martinique for PK supplies. Nothing open, but we did manage to convince Paula to open her beach bar and negotiate for 2 cans coconut, 1 nutmeg, 1 fresh pepper, and about 8 ice cubes.
• Fresh water shower off the fantail with the Liquid Joy – forgot how good it feels to be clean!
• Motor almost falls of Dinghy. Only real complaint about the charter is this POS dinghy.



Happy Island is self explanatory

• “Goaties Beach Bar” closed early so we redirected to the resort bar on the hill. We are cruisers (forbidden) and don’t have trousers (required) but they have beds, drinks, ice. After a (very very) rough start we hit it off well with the bartender and when we leave for STW they throw in a carton of ice (that is GOLD). 

Day 5 – Sail to Union Island

Getting happy

• Anchor and re-anchor off Happy Island (just to windward of Newland’s Reef).
• Large power boat trying to anchor next door – fail!
• Margaret Wroughton anchors under sail next door – success!
• Met Janti and enjoyed some cold ones on Happy Island
• Sail to Chatham Bay (other side of Union) – big water, this is not BVI!
• Dinner at Seckie & Vanessa's "Sun, Beach & Eat".  Fabulous family style meal of lobster, potatoes, plaintains, rice, salad, fish, ribs, chicken, and of course lobster (halved and still squirming when they went on the grill). Oh and Vanessa’s own cake for dessert.
• Talk to Shark Attack ("Jamaque" & his mother; "crazy fucking italians"; "figure lickin' good") -  walk to Aqua (end of beach; pool; owned by Antonio)
• Peeing off the fantail at night with Southern Cross overhead. Does it get any better?



Throw some lobster on the barbie
at Seckie & Vanessa's.

• Wind occasionally kicks up for 15-20 seconds, sounds like a train roaring through the anchorage. 

Day 6 Climb Mt Olympus and Sail to Mayreau

• Guy named "Eisenhart" left bag at Bollhead's night before (cash, camera, passport) and sailed away without it. Never found out how that story ended.
• Met Bollhead, Tim and guy from N. Hampshire (is he hiding something?)
• Steep hike to Mt. Olympus, met "Bushman" and goats, bunnies, amazing gardens
• Sail to Salt Whistle Bay, Mayreau. Our first tack (previous 4 days have been all gybes).
• Walked into village past cemetery, school (goat on roof), old Catholic Church with views of Tobago Cays. Meet "Righteous" Robert @ "Righteous & de Youths". Dogs everywhere - one is racists (we later learn).
• Drinks & early dinner @ Dennis' Hideaway - meet Charleston, Cathyann & Dennis. Cathyann was initially guarded but warmed up and we had very engaging few hours (worldly for a 27 year old). Charleston did fantastic job cooking for us in the open air kitchen.



Robert

• Back to STW; swim to shore, drinks at SW Bay Club.

Day 7 – Sail to Bequia

• Anchor tangled with mooring ball made leaving the anchorage a little tricky.
• Early sail to Bequia (6+ hr sail with long beat into Admiralty Bay/Princess Margaret Beach)
• Nailed the noon sextant sighting.  Sextant: 61°22’W 13°8’N.  GPS: 61°23’W 13°1’N. Did the math long hand and yes this sighting was accurate to 7NM! 



Dennis' Hideaway with Cathyann

• Ashore to Whaleboner (Ruth & daughter Ariel). After the previous 6 days, Bequia feels a little too civilized for my sensibilities.

Day 8 – Return to Blue Lagoon and Fly to Trinidad and Tobago 

• Morning snorkel (moray eels). 
• Generator goes kaput.
• Sail to Blue Lagoon, is a beat against a strong current. Lots of tacking.
• Marlin “We were worried about you. You never called.  Everyone always calls.” We explained that our goal was to “get away from it all.” Cell phones and radios didn’t fit into that program.
• Barge towed out of Blue Lagoon, ran aground in the (narrow) channel. If we’d returned 1 hour later we might never have gotten into the Lagoon!



Saltwhistle on Mayreau

• Fly to TT in my bathing suit.

Day 9 – Fly Home

• Start planning return trip!

I'm fortunate to have a wife that supports these more than occasional indulgences, and to have friends with a sense of adventure with whom to indulge...and who can spend time together 24x7 in very tight quarters and still be friends when it's all over.

"Thank you" to all who made this possible doesn't quite cut it...

Nailing the noon sighting. Marquesas
here we come!

Chris

"I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in."

     -- John Muir (1838 - 1914)

The One Less Traveled

 The jaunt to the boat launch confirmed the inter-web reports of treacherous riding conditions - the trails were coated in half an inch of hard shiny ice - so I was surprised to see half a dozen riders circling at the boat launch when I arrived (this group seems to thrive on adversity which is good because we were about to have some).

After gravel grinding to the dam, we knew the Sole Trail would be a ticket straight to the emergency room, so we diverted to ride the frozen flats above the spillway. With so many of us on fat bikes this quickly devolved into a Charlie Company bushwhack through the bamboo, hand-over-hand dragging bikes up the side of the decrepit crumbling spillway, and finally onto some east-side high pucker-factor icy singletrack.

For the return from The Beer Tree (yes, "all roads do lead to The Beer Tree") we rode/skated/walked across the lake ice back to the flats to ride in more aimless circles around and over the occasional rock pile. It wasn't long before one of us pinch flatted with the sun just about to set and the temp about to plummet. This of course presented even more opportunity to yuck it up and 20 minutes later (ICTs have big tires) we were all smiles for the gravel grind back to the launch.

This ride was the definition of "Adventure by Bike." No plan, no destination, just a group of friends turning corners just to see what would happen next.

Chris

"Two paths diverged in the wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
     -- Robert Frost

2015 "Hair of the Dog" Hangover Ride

Man down. Like really down.

2015 started pretty much the same way 2014 ended...riding. The only difference was that this morning's Hangover Ride was sparsely attended - possibly due to the 10:30 am start time. In spite of this, the ride was a success on multiple fronts:

• Some healthy hangovers were burned off by the fresh air, the exercise, and a little hair of the dog.
• We on-boarded a new (to us) rider Justin. He's a quick study on the dog hair stuff and also outlasted us on the riding part.
• We were able to give one very bedraggled (decapitated actually) camper a proper Sioux-style tree burial.

Field work.

Looking forward to more 2015...

Chris

photos courtesy of mike