|Artwork by Sara|
With 2013 winding down and the annual Bike-Bonfire-Beer-a-palooza around the corner, I figured I would try to sum up the year with a fun trivia quiz. Don't think too hard, it's not rocket surgery.
If you skip meals and stand around the chalet for hours in bike clothes insisting you haven't had much to drink you might end up...a) Leaving your breakfast next to the trail on Saturday morning.
b) Laying on the couch Saturday afternoon.
c) Like Jason.
d) In the MO7S fun quiz.
a) A happy song.
b) A puppet.
c) A burp.
d) A fart.
Someone posted a sign at Marsh Creek that says
a) No trespassing.
b) Park closes after sunset (except for fishing).
c) Cranston Gap.
d) This way to The Beer Tree.
Who or what is "Dirty Penny?"
a) An ale brewed by Olde Burnside Brewing Company that is a mixture of Ten Penny Ale and their signature stout.
b) A Berks County cover band from Reading Pennsylvania.
c) Someone with questionable allegiances who induces brain lockup in groups of 10 or more guys.
What is a Heady Topper?
a) A malty and piney beverage bursting with 8% goodness that was lovingly hand carried by Kirk from the Alchemist's lair in Vermont.
b) A beverage bursting with 8% goodness that was malty and piney and lovingly hand carried by Kirk from the Alchemist's lair in Vermont.
c) A beverage lovingly hand carried by Kirk from the Alchemist's lair in Vermont that was malty and piney and bursting with 8% goodness.
d) A malty and piney beverage bursting with 8% goodness from the Alchemist's lair in Vermont that was lovingly hand carried by Kirk.
The Beer Tree was retired in 2013 because...a) We don't like beer anymore.
b) It was too "trailer park" for our tastes.
c) There is a new sheriff in town.
d) We switched to Root and Snap.
What cycling related miracles occurred in 2013?
a) At the 2013 Bud Mauger memorial ride Mark turned water into beer.
b) Dr. Oz discovered that red palm oil can reduce body fat and lubricate chains in muddy conditions.
c) At one of our FHHR rides Jesse turned vegetables into mint chocolate chip ice cream.
d) Lance Armstrong admitted he is a fraud.
At the infamous White Clay Rain Ride we...
a) Rode on rain soaked trails without being accosted by local trail Nazis.
b) Washed our socks in the runoff from the parking lot.
c) Stripped in the parking lot to entertain the 2nd floor yoga class overlooking the parking lot.
d) Were a little obnoxious to the waitress at McGlynn's Pub (but tipped her well).
The 2013 Cinco De Mayo Friday Happy Hour Ride was unfortunately marred because...
a) It was actually Tres De Mayo.
b) The pink paper flower on Kirk's helmet made his butt look big.
c) Mike wore a pearl necklace and did an imitation of Mike Honcho.
d) En Cinamino fell asleep on the ground wearing a sombrero.
e) Brian had to eat salsa off the bottom of Jesse's Sidi riding shoe.
"Clean Getaway" is...
a) Pretending you are going to the bathroom at a lame party and instead slipping out the back door and going home.
b) A coin operated laundromat in Kalamazoo Michigan.
c) An indie cycling movie produced by an aspiring local film maker.
d) A pretty basic song written by Maria Taylor.
In April when riding at Marsh Creek, Mike popped...
a) A ladybug into his mouth and swallowed it.
b) A wheelie in the parking lot.
c) His acromioclavicular joint.
d) Both eardrums during a rapid free fall descent of the rocky climb.
Who said "don't be a dumb ass and please don't sue us"?
a) Samsung (to Apple) after they stole the pinch-zoom smartphone feature.
b) Dirty Penny speaking on behalf of the Kingdom Trails Association when we decided to ride their rocky rooty trails in a torrential downpour.
c) The guy with a megaphone standing on the tailgate at the start of the Crazy Train ride.
At the 2013 Crazy Train ride, the organizer told us...
a) If you only have three bikes, you do not have enough.
b) The event allows you to ride only one bike, but you brought three. Choose wisely.
c) The terrain calls for you to ride three different bikes, but you can ride only one. Choose wisely.
d) I licked one of the pretzels in this box. Choose wisely.
Bryan likes fatties because...
a) Once they start moving, you can't stop them.
b) They are fun to ride slow.
c) It's fun, and all your friends think it's stupid, but they still want to do it too.
d) Size actually does matter.
"I have too many bikes"
-- Said by no cyclist ever