Rider Down...

"Rider down" were the first two words in the voicemail I found at 7:47am - shortly after (we thought) this morning's ride had ended. Unfortunately for one of us, the ride ended with bang (as in "crash boom bang"). By the time I got the voicemail and contacted the rider, he was in sight of home (and his wife) so he gets credit for limping home unassisted.

The attached pictures tell much of the story in graphic detail, the helmet will be retired to the helmet hall of fame (getting crowded), and the rider may be joining me near the back of the pack with the rest of the "we understand that we're not 12 years old anymore" crowd.

As is tradition, I will not disclose the identity of the victim - for that key piece of information you will need to get on a bike and join a ride to get the lowdown firsthand. For those of you on the sidelines saying "jeeze, the couch is looking better and better with every email I get from those guys" you need to recognize a couple of things:

• Nothing ventured nothing gained
• Some have the skill and judgement to avoid the "big" crash, you can be one of those people if you so choose.
• It is always an option to watch the carnage from the back of the pack
• There must be something to this MTB thing if these guys keep riding after all that crap

That's all the news for today. Thursday night ride will be a "game time" decision around 8:30 so let me know if you are interested. I am heading out of town on Saturday for 8 days, so will not see you until the week of the 11th. Have a great week and remember that "pain is temporary, glory is forever." Chris

Beware of Dog

Friday happy hour turned out a couple of faces we haven't seen in a while - one of them an original "brat pack" member! A trip over the handlebars did not dissuade him from turning in a good ride, hoping to see more of him now that he's limbered up.

Sunday was a ride Andy would have been proud of - we rode the 8 miles to Sunoco (Skelp Level is a grind and a half), banged around Sunoco for 6 miles, then rode the 8 miles back. Lots of trail work underway there, even found our new biking clubhouse about 100' past the "beware of dog sign" that we elected to ignore.

Note: Slight change to Thursday schedule due to a Lyndenwood Community meeting.

• Tuesday 630am - meet where Struble crosses Lyndel
• Thursday 830pm or thereabouts (need a little flex due to neighborhood meeting; let me know if you are riding and we'll keep you posted)

Friday's Brat Packer showed that it is never to late to jump back on (or jump on for the first time), so what is your excuse?

Chris

"Scars are like tatoos, only with better stories"

Nipples

'twas yet another a spectacular night for a bike ride but near disaster before the ride even began as KO's favorite neighbor decided to show off his red Corvette, mistook the gas pedal for the brake, and fish-tailed his way up Kaiser with tires billowing smoke, popped over the curb (to turf the neighbor's lawn), and finally came to rest in the middle of the road wondering if his fuel injectors had malfunctioned. When last we checked (smoke still clearing) he was still trying to back the dang thing into his garage.

We were expecting a record size crowd (I think we had about a dozen RSVPs) but wound up with half that - still a respectable size group that roughly doubled the customer base when we strode into Chelsy's. So apparently we have a few souls with good intentions who were busy last night paving the road to Hell. Summer is a busy time so a few MIAs are understandable, but we missed your jocularity and hope you can make it happen next time.

Once we rounded up our last rider (new nickname "nipples") we headed off to Chelsy's for a long overdue appointment with Nate. Of course he was his usual gregarious self so after a few pitchers and a round of sluts we left the customary 50% tip and headed home. We did the connector in both directions (slower on the return trip but relatively cleanly, except for one uphill endo). Other highlights of the ride included an emergency dismount on the bridge at the bottom of the Sole trail that left a rider standing upright, on the bridge, with his bike behind him. Also thanks to our lead safety rider diligently calling out the road crossings with "traffic!" or "clear!" or "punch it! ... if you want to!" Of course the "if you want to!" came a little late so the effect was just plain "punch it!" which made that particular crossing pretty interesting.

This weekend is a sweat fest and the riders last night were inclined toward an early start on Sunday, so we will say 8:00am departure from Upper. Hope some of you "good intentioned" guys can get a break from the paving detail and turnout on Sunday for some riding.

Chris

"If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong."

Nubutte

Time to consider getting back on the bike. Shiner is clearing up nicely - I think it "peaked" yesterday and I can also swallow without crying which is a real nice bonus. My only major remaining issue is where my body interfaces with the bike, things are a freaking mess "down there" (no pictures, sorry). My plan (not a promise) is to load up with "chamois butter" and take a very short test run tomorrow to see what the situation is. If I think I can ride without tearing things up worse then I am a solid go for Thursday night Chelsy's ride. REGARDLESS this Chelsy's thing needs to go off because we have a bunch of NooBs and "haven't seen you in a while" riders who are angling for this ride so it's important to reel them in quickly.

Diagnosis -> Pain

GP and ENT checked me out from stem to stern, turn my head and cough, snaked a scope through my nose into my windpipe, the whole deal and I am deemed bruised but basically intact. Sara is a little freaked, Ruth is being extremely relaxed about the whole thing (attentive, not preaching because it's not her style and she can see she doesn't need to). Reflecting on this debacle - the fault was entirely mine - if I can't see that my line is safe at the current speed, etc then it is up to me to hit the breaks or whatever. I made the same mistake on a recent morning ride, diving into a turn without knowing what was around the corner (log across the trail, crash, ouch). So clearly a judgement issue on my part that needs some work.

Crash Bang Boom

Sunday's roadie to White Clay was one to remember. We covered the bulk of the park in a little over 2 hours (riding time) which, according to our resident White Clay expert, was a record fast pace. Unfortunately for me it was little too fast - as I applied some bad judgement on a downhill section and did my best (and last) JackAss imitation. I'd like to say my helmet took the worst of it (it is now showing some wear) but actually I took a pretty good licking. I will leave it to others who were there to provide the "color" as my memory is a little sketchy. Aside from that buzz-kill move on my part, the ride was awesome and I think White Clay is back at or near the top of the list for all 6 riders.

That's all for now, I am heading back to the couch to lick my wounds.

Check Your Pulse

For those of you having difficulty dragging yourself out of bed for the Tuesday morning rides, I have a solution...tape the attached picture to your nightstand on Monday night when you set the alarm. If that doesn't do the trick, then maybe it is time to check your pulse. Picture taken around 6:30am last Tuesday on the Struble.

This Sunday's Roadie is taking shape -- likely destination is White Clay where there are no lung busting hills, just miles and miles of fast rolling smooth single track. There is still some room in the Riley bus for another rider or two. Don't be shy -- if we have overflow it will become a caravan which even more fun. Confirmed in so far are CD, JA, MR, AS, and likely BG (unless the surf is up).

I've had a few requests for an early departure so let's tentatively say underway (that means bikes loaded and "goin' down the road feelin' bad") by 8:00am, which should get us home before 1:00pm. We will be rolling from Mike's house (119 Kaiser). Please bring $5 for the driver (gas and aggravation surcharge).

Finally I'd like to move tonight's ride time up in order to catch the evening light or maybe even a sunset. I am thinking of rolling sometime around 6:30 or 7:00 but am flexible. Let me know if interested and time preference.

Saddle up!

Chris

"That bike chick sort of digs you but she's not looking for a beginner"
-- R.I.

P.S. Don't disappoint that bike chick, get out there and ride!

Four for Six

If you ask Andy I think he will tell you that I have been providing a unrivaled entertainment value on recent rides (especially after this morning's ride). I remind you that this entertainment is being provided at my own (bodily) expense. I am now keeping score, four "notable" injuries in the last six rides. Usually I go a couple of months between notables. This morning Sara observed that it looks like I "have two knees on my right leg" and my other leg is still so purple it is gross. Not sure who will fill the void in my absence but I feel sorry for them already, maybe our recent ER patron will take up the slack?

Chris

“I'll take the Pain and Humiliation Combo, super-sized”

What Doesn't Kill Me Only Makes Me Stronger

If the last roadie was a "beat down" then this evening's ride was a "beaten down." Sincere thanks to the duo of Rob and Bob who took us on a 90 minute lung-busting whirlwind tour of the park. I know it was race-pace (for me) because my fingers were tingling and my field of vision had narrowed so much it was like looking through a toilet paper tube. Good stuff and I look forward to getting beaten down again real soon - "what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger" and all that good stuff.

I am off to the Adirondacks for the long weekend so will miss the Thursday and Sunday rides. I know Mike stumbled, badly, as ride leader last Sunday (an honest stumble for an Irishman) but I can see the fire is back (no fire last Sunday) and so I will pass the baton to him, again, confident that he will rally the troops (and confident that you troops rally to his war cry).

The customary ride times are Thursday 8:30pm and Sunday 8:00am departing from Mike's place - feel free to adjust to suit your needs. Of course a curfew is in effect for Mike on Wednesday and Saturday night.

Have a great weekend.

Chris

"Chicks Dig The Long Ball"
-- Randy Johnson (as reported by Rob. I don't know what this has to do with biking but it was funny at the time.)